Drama Addiction: the good, the bad and the beautiful

On a philosophical note, I've been recently reflecting on the long lists of universal human feelings and needs as described in the NVC teachings.  I've asked myself why we love movies so passionately. I wonder why so many people enjoy a good human drama, as found in character-study films, documentaries, TV series, science fiction, etc.  Also, why do people embrace the news so closely.  Why do they seem to enjoy focusing their attention intently on the national and global news even though it's filled with chaotic drama.  There seems to be less interest in the local news than the global news. In ancient times, all we had was immediate local news of our tribe or neighboring tribes. Nowadays, we've expanded our thirst for knowledge out to the ends of the earth. This is true especially of political news. Many like to air their views of political news and drama on social media. That can easily backfire, creating additional layers of drama in the commentary.  In the extreme, it leads to "unfriending" a friend. Sometimes there's a loss of a close friend.

 Without some of these things, we might find our life to be a humdrum existence. We don't have to forage or hunt for food anymore. We don't have to run from wild animal predators most of the time--unless someone unleashes their aggressive dog. We can go out anytime of the day or night. Just 150 years ago it was very unsafe to go out at night due to wild animals, thieves etc.  Many of us don't hold positions of high office in government or business. Many of us are not even in an intimate love relationship, which would occasionally bring some drama with it. In the West, most of us don't live in a house with an extended family in it. Extended families living in close quarters can be a breeding ground for drama.

So we have books, literature, plays, films, TV series, many of which are predicated on drama. We have all manner of means to access them on our phones, tablets, computers, TVs, etc.

Some believe drama is an inherently unhealthy or bad thing.  Lots of people have profiles on dating websites which say "NO drama here!" "No tolerance for drama... you bring drama into my life and you're gone!"  I'm not suggesting drama is inherently bad, negative or undesirable as those profiles proclaim. There's something human about drama, something very real, except maybe (ironically) on reality TV shows where the drama is stoked and at least partially staged.

Human civilization by its very nature entails lots of drama, in families, communities, organizations and governments. It's just in our human nature, isn't it? So long as we're all imperfect and not quite saints. So long as we have our separate individual identities. So long as we have our egoic minds, there will be drama.

Without tapping into the drama of others through TV, movies, the news, etc, our daily lives could become humdrum and boring. Many of us in the modern world live pretty much cut off from our neighbors.  Our friends live quite a distance away from us, even in other cities and states. There's a universal human need at times for connection with the lives of others.  There's a real human need for excitement, stimulation, and to give empathy and to show that we care.

When people follow national or global politics for several hours a day, I wonder what needs are being met by that. It appears to be a need to participate in the grand human drama. A desire to get behind the values they want to see up at the top of our governments and other societal structures. The problem is that sometimes, in modern times, there is such a constant barrage of dramatic news constantly available that it's hard to limit it. It can become addictive in a way that is unhealthy and stressful.

Some of my favorite movies involve characters who were up against nearly impossible odds. Who struggled like crazy against the "bad" characters while embodying the "good" qualities. These sympathetic movie characters would make some progress, then fall back, then make more progress, then fall back to the ground..  When I was younger I really enjoyed these sympathetic characters and their dramatic stories of great struggle and hardship.

Now that I'm older, I have a lower tolerance/threshold for stress. Even for recreational stress like that which I experience while watching an action movie. Remember that beauty, and stress, are in the eye of the beholder. For instance, I find driving in heavy traffic to be stressful, yet others put on music or an audiobook and they find driving in rush hour to be relaxing.

These days I hunger mostly for ease, for peace and quiet. I do enjoy some activity, some challenge, some movement, some drama here and there. It's just that I don't enjoy a steady diet of that.

Also, as I get older, I've become more clear on what my values and needs are.  At times I've missed having a personal love relationship, something that often can bring some drama with it. Even if I don't have that, I always have the platonic love of friends and family. I always have the love of spirit, or spiritual love from my mentors and spiritual friends.  There are millions of souls all around that I can find ways to give love to in various ways.  Recently I organized a plant-based food tasting at the public library.  The people--most of them strangers to me--loved it!  It was challenging, but I can honestly say it fulfilled some deep needs to give and receive love and appreciation beyond my immediate circle of friends. I found it expanded my heart and my capacity to give and receive.

Some situations are notorious breeding grounds for toxic drama. The very thought of them can put your stomach into knots. Amazingly, at a recent condo board meeting with about 12 people present, the meeting, though tense at times, was peppered with laughter and joy. It felt like a family. Dysfunctional in some ways, for sure, but still there was a felt sense of family. Condo owners have shared assets, shared risks and shared rewards...that's one of the definitions of community. And those are the things that stimulate drama.

So it appears to me that drama is neither good nor bad.  It is what we make it out to be.  It depends on whether we react to it negatively with judgment, or respond to it positively with compassion and care.